Raising a Family

Deeply ingrained among traditional Chinese is the custom of honoring one’s parents and looking after the family one is born into. The oldest son, in particular, has the responsibility of caring for his ageing parents and his siblings.

As the firstborn son, I felt that responsibility very keenly and, in honoring my parents, I often gave them priority over my own family. My family life could have been complicated by this custom; instead it was simple because Katherine loved me very much and accepted that this was the way things were. And I loved her more for that.

No Quarrels

My wife and I never quarreled. Even from the start, Katherine demonstrated great maturity and understanding. Our goal was to raise our children to the best of our ability. If we had any disagreement, we talked about it calmly and reasonably. Our relationship was not a contest nor was it a battle of wills. We worked together and it was always for the children.

Loving Touches

I knew Katherine loved me because she took care of me. She was always concerned about what she would feed me and the children, and would even pick little stones and husks from the rice before cooking. It was another of the many loving touches that Katherine did automatically for us. I remember she would wake up very early and prepare my breakfast—fish or oatmeal—before attending to the children.

Breakfast was the one meal that I usually took at home because I was either busy at work or with my parents who lived upstairs on the second floor of the two-story house we shared on Mirasol Street.

According to Chinese custom, filial piety demands that the eldest son attend to his parents’ needs. That’s why I was always with them when we lived at Mirasol. If I wasn’t attending to my parents, I was working on the company’s book of accounts or planning my sales trips.

I had a tiny alcove in one of the two bedrooms of our ground-floor home. The alcove was just big enough for a school desk and a chair, and it had a curtain. A drawn curtain meant I was busy working, and the children were not allowed to disturb me. They were not allowed to mess up my papers either, but the girls admitted they used my corner as a hiding place when they played hide-and-seek.

My daughters recall that I would hand out their vitamins after eating. Making sure that the children took their vitamins was my way of safeguarding their health and letting them know I was concerned about their welfare. Pablo recalls that I had helped him with his lessons, particularly English. I can’t recall anymore that I did; in fact, I thought I was always working. But I must have done it a few times for him to remember so.

Provincial Trips

When Gonzalo Laboratory was starting out, I was very busy selling our products, first in Manila and its neighboring cities and later in the provinces. My provincial sorties kept me away for several days at a time. While I labored with an unwavering determination to succeed, I did not enjoy those trips. I hated being away from my wife and children and could not wait to get back home.

Whenever I could, I took a member of the family with me for company. Marciano joined me in several of my provincial trips, but, more often than not, it was Pablo whom I awakened at 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning to accompany me. This was usually during the summer when he had no classes. (Eventually, Pablo took charge of provincial sales for the company that my sons established and he reaped the benefits of being recognized as my son by the people we had sold alcohol to). Whenever I could, I also took Katherine along and some (if not all) of the children.

Good Education

Katherine and I divided the responsibilities of raising our kids. I worked hard for the family and provided for them. I made sure that our children attended good schools because I valued a good education. If I could not give them great wealth, I could at least give them a good education, which was something that no one could steal from them.

Most of our children began their studies at Crusaders Academy, a Spanish owned Catholic school run by the Dominican fathers in Binondo, the heart of “Chinatown” in Manila. While I wanted my kids to learn about our Chinese culture, I also wanted them to grow up in the faith and to have moral values.

Then, in 1960, when I became a naturalized citizen, one of the requirement was that I put my kids in Filipino schools. That was when I placed all of the children in Filipino-owned Catholic schools. The girls studied at St. Paul’s Manila and the boys in Letran, Mapua and La Salle. Katherine made sure that I was present for as many of their graduations as I could attend.

Meanwhile, Katherine cooked for our kids, kept our house in order, made sure they studied their lessons and cared for them when they were sick. All these she did with the assistance of only one housemaid, Linda, who served us for many years. Even when we could already afford it, Katherine didn’t hire a cook. She insisted on doing the cooking herself. My wife enjoyed pampering the children with her cooking, even if she served only one viand and rice.

Special Dishes

Syril’s favorite dish was chay po ng (pickled radish omelette). Even when Syril was already a married man with teenaged kids, Katherine would call him up and entice him to come over by saying she had cooked his favorite dish. And he would come and finish one plateful by himself with gusto! Marciano’s favorite was her chicken curry, with potatoes and curry rice. For him no one can make it the way she did. Katherine also cooked dishes that were meals in themselves like kiam pung—sticky rice with pork, chicken, mushroom, peanuts and a little soy sauce—similar to Valenciana rice. She saved time and money with those all-in one meals.

Katherine was wise about time as she was with money. She would take the kids to Crusaders’ Academy in the morning, then go to her parents’ house on Ongpin. At noon, she would bring Syril, Marciano, Pablo, Agnes and Lucy their lunch, make sure they ate and then return to her parents’ home. At midafternoon, she would pick the kids up from school and they would take the jeepney home to Mirasol.

While the kids did their homework or played, my wife was busy at the kitchen, preparing dinner. When she was done, Katherine would call the kids and they would go in. The evening meal would be ready on the table and they would sit down and eat, often without me because I was traveling a lot.